The Mend The Marriage program was created to help couples stop divorce and save their marriages.
The program offers actionable advice on rebuilding trust, connection, intimacy, and communication for those in rocky relationships.
The program claims that even if only one person in a relationship is trying to save it, the relationship can be saved in most cases.
|Program Pros||Program Cons|
|a. Great for re-building connection with your spouse.
b. Possibility of improving your marriage without your spouse’s direct help.
c. Available in audio format for convenience.
d. Personal help available at a very reasonable price.
e. Bonuses provide excellent info.
|a. Mending the marriage on your own has limitations.
b. No real-life case studies on the program being applied.
c. Open question on the program’s effectiveness in improving complex situations.
d. Guest counselor’s advice is underwhelming.
- The Sales Video
- My Thoughts On The Sales Video
- Placing My Order
- Member's Area
- Main Ebook's Design
- Ebook's Introduction
- Section 1 - You Can Mend This Marriage On Your Own
- Section 2 - Introducing The ABCD System
- Section 3 - Stop Fighting With Your Spouse & Start Fighting For Your Spouse
- Chapter 9 - Three Stages Of A Relationship
- Chapter 10 - Family Systems Theory
- Chapter 11 - Commit To Change
- Chapter 12 - Take Care Of Your Connection Account
- Chapter 13 - Say It So You Are Understood
- Section 4 - Dedicate Yourself To The Task
- Chapter 14 - Think It Through
- Chapter 15 - Find Your Role
- Chapter 16 - Assess The Connection Account
- Chapter 17 - Make Changes
- Chapter 18 - A Note About Changing Your Mind
- Section 5 - Special Considerations
- Section 6 - Your Happy Future
- Final Thoughts
The Sales Video
In the sales video for the Mend The Marriage program, self-professed divorce geek Brad Browning, the author, makes some impressive claims.
He says that his program stands a great chance of helping you re-build connection and re-ignite chemistry with your spouse and avoid divorce.
He further claims that even if you are the only spouse trying to save your marriage or if your spouse resists your marriage-saving efforts initially, his program can help you.
To get the passion and attraction back in your marriage, he mentions techniques such as “immediate impact actions” and “bond builders” that he believes will work very well.
These techniques supposedly will subconsciously re-wire your spouse’s feelings towards you by appealing to your spouse’s emotions rather than logic.
My Thoughts On The Sales Video
The video gives a convincing overview of the uniqueness of the Mend The Marriage program and why it works.
I wish the video could be rewound and fast-forwarded. That feature comes in handy in case you miss something or if don’t want to listen to the whole video.
For convenience, it also would be nice for a written sales “pitch” to be placed under the video. That would give you the option of reading the “pitch” quickly rather than forcing you to watch the whole video.
Fortunately, an order button appears at the bottom of the video ample time before the video ends.
Another thing I am not too fond of is parts of the video that are overly “salesy.”
There is a 3-day countdown-clock on the video page that gives the impression that the video will be removed when the clock reaches zero. Supposedly the program would then no longer be available.
The truth is – I have visited the sales video page several times over many weeks, and the video and the program have always been available.
Another overly “salesy” bit is the voicemail testimonial left by Kelsey, a past customer, that Brad Browning played. The message sounded contrived, to be honest.
That said, the program comes with a no-quibble 60-day money-back guarantee – a fact that Brad repeats during the video. This guarantee gives you ample time to test out the program’s techniques on your marriage.
Placing My Order
I ordered the female version of the course although there is no true female version.
According to customer support, the course is gender-non specific, so both male and female ordering options offer the same program.
I suspect the reason there are “male” and “female” ordering options is to track the number of guys and gals showing interest. This feature is a popular marketing tactic.
Ordering was seamless. ClickBank™, the digital retail giant website on which Brad Browning sells the Mend The Marriage program – offers the option to pay via credit card and PayPal.
After ordering, I received my ClickBank™ receipt and a welcome email from Brad.
Brad’s welcome email contained the link to the login page to the member’s area of the program, but not the password.
To get the password, I clicked the “access links” in the receipt email from ClickBank™.
You can also request a new password on the member’s area login page. Alternatively, you can contact Mend The Marriage support using the email address in Brad’s welcome message if you lost the password.
About two days after I placed my order, I got another email from Brad which included a link to the “getting started” video.
That video is the first video (aka the welcome video) in the 7 part videos series in the member’s area.
The member’s area is nicely laid out with big buttons to access the program’s components.
The components are:
The main e-book is the core of the Mend the Marriage program.
b) Audio Course
The audio course is a professionally recorded audio version of the main program that you can download and listen to at anytime.
c) Video Series
The video series contains a set of 7 videos covering specific topics in-depth.
I would suggest that you watch the first video in the series, prior to reading the main course.
d) Bonus E-Books
The three bonus books cover their topics in more depth than the main e-book.
Get an in-depth review of:
e) Bonus Worksheets
These worksheets are an unadvertised bonus item.
f) 50 Text Messages That Will Save Your Marriage – a $9.95 upgrade. Click the link for my review.
Main Ebook’s Design
The Mend The Marriage PDF e-book, at 271 page and 24 chapters, is nicely designed.
The book uses images sparingly and the words are well-spaced, thus making the e-book easy to read.
It would be nice for the ebook’s table of contents to have clickable links. If it did, you’d be able to click any given link and be taken to the corresponding chapter.
Brad reiterates his main claim.
That is, by following the strategies in the book, couples can mend their marriages in most instances.
If you cannot mend your marriage, he says that you’ll at least be a happier and more confident person and have better relationships in the future.
He asserts that you can improve your marriage without the corporation of your spouse. He claims to have a lot of success in helping couples do this.
He mentions his patented – “ABCD system” – that you’ll be using to strengthen your marriage. In addition, he mentions other key program elements that you’ll be using to build a stronger connection with your spouse.
It’s not until section two of the book that he goes into detail of his patented system.
Note that this book has a wide appeal.
The Mend the Marriage program is not only for people who openly acknowledge they are having marital struggles. The program is also suitable for:
(a) People who are in the middle of a divorce but still want to salvage things.
(b) Spouses who have suspected their significant others are having affairs.
(c) Those whose marriages are going a little stale.
(d) For people who think their spouses are unhappy in their relationships.
Brad makes another important assertion here.
He says his program is suitable for people of varying sexual orientations. It also can help people in many types of relationships.
Heterosexual, LGBT people, persons dating, and those in common-law relationships can all benefit from the program.
Towards the intro’s end, he briefly mentions the importance of protecting your children from your marital problems. He re-issues this warning as the course goes on.
Section 1 – You Can Mend This Marriage On Your Own
This section has no introduction.
Chapter 1 – Here’s Where We Are
This chapter starts by describing where you might be in your marriage and the problematic circumstances that you might be experiencing.
Brad acknowledges that couples often participate in therapy to deal with those issues. But, while accepting that counseling can be effective, he points to its shortcomings.
He asserts that “going it alone,” for instance, to be not dependent on your partner to attend therapy, is a viable alternative to traditional counseling. He thinks “going it alone” can be a fruitful strategy.
At the end of this chapter is the first of a few installments throughout the course called – “Ask The Counselor.” In this and all other installments, this one particular clinical psychologist/licensed counselor answers questions about common communication problems that troubled marriages face.
In the first installment, the psychologist outlines a mental exercise to deal with a particular problem. However, I can’t say that I was that impressed with this exercise.
Reason being, I feel the efficacy of the mental exercise depends on how deeply intuitive you are and how connected you are with your inner self. My feeling is that few people are that connected, men especially.
You might need more guidance to work through the negative feedback that may emanate from your inner self as you go through the mental exercise.
Chapter 2 – How Did We Get Here
This chapter charts how a couple goes from being giddy and in-love in the early stages of a relationship to the relationship being on the rocks.
The chapter also mentions various kinds of repeated harmful behaviors that can take a toll on a marriage. Brad calls these behaviors debits to the “connection account” – a term that is first mentioned in this chapter – but not explained until later on.
Again, the Brad mentions that regardless of the journey your marriage took to end up “on the rocks,“ you can mend the marriage even without the help of your partner.
Chapter 3 – Where Can We Go From Here
The overall message of this chapter is that you have more power than you know to save your marriage, even in the face of your uncooperative spouse.
Brad mentions that he has faced a lot of resistance from people who think one spouse trying to save a marriage is unworkable. In response, he explains how “going it alone” is workable.
Brad comes out more directly here to suggest that only one party needs to enact the behavioral changes needed to mend the marriage, at least initially.
That’s because according to him, one person in the relationship cannot change another. So it is best for you to focus on yourself.
He cites two examples that emulate real-life situations of spouses focusing on their own actions to affect a marriage positively. The examples would have been more forceful had they been actual situations that Brad helped heal.
Two things stuck out to me in this chapter, the first of which seems counter-intuitive on the surface, but is a feature of the program.
First, either the person in the relationship that perceives to be wronged or the one that is doing the perceived wrong can enact the Mend The Marriage system. As long as one spouse wants to save the marriage, then according to Brad, that spouse can use the program to save the marriage.
The next thing that stuck out is that the person who wants to save the marriage will have to put in the lion’s share of the work, at least initially. That person should prepare himself/herself for setbacks.
Brad assures readers that after a period of solely working on saving the marriage, momentum sets in, things get easier, and success becomes more likely.
Chapter 4 – Going It Alone
Not surprised that “going it alone” received its own chapter. This phrase is the unique selling proposition that separates this course from other “save the marriage” courses.
This chapter gives four major reasons “going it alone” is easier and personally more beneficial. Brad Browning asserts that to fix a marriage – one has no choice but to “go it alone.”
That said, Brad mentions that the one who is implementing the course needs to re-wire his/her spouse’s feelings about the marriage. He mentions that the techniques to do the re-wiring are outlined later in the program.
However, he does briefly mention one tactic that he claims is very powerful in getting your spouse to give your love a second chance.
This tactic taps into nostalgic memories and convinces your spouse that both of you should commit to saving your marriage. He suggests using this tactic after you’ve had some progress in getting your marriage back on track.
Towards the end of this chapter is the second installment of “Ask The Counselor.” The counselor gives common sense advice on taking a situation that broadcasts to the world that a relationship is on the rocks and turning it into a positive.
The chapter ends with a caveat and a directive.
The caveat states that there are no guarantees that you can save your marriage.
But Brad also states, and I agree, that even if you’re not successful in mending the marriage, by completing this program, you can come become a happier and more positive person. As a happier person, you are better prepared for your next relationship.
The directive, which the program also previously mentions, reminds you to shield your children from your marital issues.
In the next section, Brad digs deeper into his patented strategy for mending your marriage.
Section 2 – Introducing The ABCD System
Once again, Brad warns that the system will be challenging. I don’t doubt that for two reasons.
One, if you genuinely believe that your spouse is the one causing the marital problems, yet you are the one that has to change, you might feel this is unfair.
Two, if you feel your spouse isn’t even trying to do his/her part to make the marriage better, you might question the point of completing the program.
Despite these challenges, I urge you to at least complete the program. At the very least, you will become a better person for it.
Importantly, in chapters 7-8 in particular, Brad offers techniques to help you overcome the mental anguish that you might feel as you go through the Mend The Marriage program.
Chapter 5 – Accept The Situation
This chapter goes into the first element of Brad Browning’s patented system. That is, your accepting the current status of your marriage and realizing that you cannot change your spouse.
He delves into relationship dynamics that show how counterproductive and productive a lack of acceptance and acceptance are, respectively.
Brad uses another “made up” example of a couple with issues to illustrate how the actions of a spouse who perceives herself to be right is contributing to your marital problems. As you read this, you will get a better understanding of your role in the marital problems.
He explains how a mind shift can help you to focus away from the negative feelings (like anger) associated with a tough marriage to one where you are more accepting of your current situation.
This mind-shift is an essential linchpin in Brad’s “going it alone” mantra.
After reading this chapter, you will also know how to conduct yourself appropriately as you try to save your marriage.
Chapter 6 – Inner Qualities And Acceptance
This chapter is all about developing the inner qualities that will help you accept your situation and yet instill the feeling that you have what it takes to mend the marriage.
Brad lists five inner qualities here that you can work on developing. It is pretty hard to argue against those qualities. He then goes into ways to develop those inner qualities.
I couldn’t help but feel that some readers might consider the proposed method of developing those qualities is slightly simplistic.
Some people swear that they have used those techniques to great effect in other areas. But I have some reservations about the effectiveness of those techniques for the vast majority of people that try them.
I feel the techniques would resonate more with people who are, for lack of a better phrase, “into the new-age stuff.” My gut tells me most people don’t believe in that sort of thing.
But you might be in favor of trying new things if they have worked for other people.
I can see where Brad’s personal coaching would come in very handy here. He might be able to help you develop those required inner qualities.
Brad’s private coaching offer is presented after you complete your order for this program. There is also a link to the personal coaching offer at the end of the Mend The Marriage main eBook.
Chapter 7 – Build Resilience
This chapter outlines the second part of Brad’s patented system for mending your marriage.
He wants you to get mentally and physically stronger to accept the current status of your marriage. He also wants you to have the fortitude to deal with the challenges to fix your marriage.
He discusses techniques for turning negative situations into positive ones quickly. He calls these techniques – “immediate impact actions.”
The actions outlined in this chapter are for building resilience as you try to get your marriage back on track.
I think the “immediate impact actions” are more practical when compared to the steps presented in the previous chapter. The former is more likely to produce results faster for a greater cross-section of people.
Chapter 8 – Inner Qualities That Build Resilience
I am disappointed with this chapter, frankly. All you get is a set of definitions of inner qualities you need to become mentally stronger.
That said, after reading this and previous chapters in section two, I can see what Brad is attempting to do here. He’s helping you to gain the strength to “go it alone” to mend your marriage.
This chapter signals the end of section two. Looking back at this section, I feel that it suits someone who can read something inspirational, mentally internalize the message well, and then act upon the message.
If you are a person who needs concrete “step by step” instructions to deal with your situation, then you might have more of a challenge implementing the concepts within this section.
Internalizing the message, getting pumped temporarily, then falling back into old counterproductive behaviors isn’t a recipe for success either.
So if after reading section two, you realize you need a bit more hand-holding, Brad’s coaching offer might be the help you need.
Section 3 – Stop Fighting With Your Spouse & Start Fighting For Your Spouse
This section has no introduction.
Chapter 9 – Three Stages Of A Relationship
Where are you in the marriage right now? This chapter answers this question by articulating the various stages of a marriage.
Although every marriage is unique, the phases that the course outlines are the most common.
When your marriage is adversarial, it is sometimes hard to see where you might be at fault. This chapter brilliantly shows the genesis and trajectory of common marital problems as a relationship progresses.
By reading this chapter, you will gain a deeper understanding of your role in your marital problems. Since “knowing” is half the battle, you will be in a prime position to change your behavior.
The chapter ends on an uplifting note, stating that your relationship can regain the mojo in had in its earlier days if you resist a particular urge that virtually all people have.
Chapter 10 – Family Systems Theory
How many times have you heard the phrase – “take responsibility for your actions.”
People may agree with this in principle, but in their hearts many ignore that advice and focus on how other people have “screwed up” their lives.
This chapter, with a tinge of psychology, explains how spouses’ behaviors reinforce each other, resulting in a cycle of worsening marital problems.
The explanation provides a reality check on the idea that the marital problems that you are experiencing are all your spouse’s fault.
Brad Browning presents you with another “made up” but realistic marital situation to further illustrate how this interplay of spousal behaviors results in a worsening cycle of problems.
At the very end of this chapter comes the third installment of “Ask The Counselor.” The counselor uses the principles outlined in this chapter to help you address a major problem that causes communication to breakdown.
By the end of the chapter you should have the confidence that by changing your role in a conflict, even slightly, you can break the cycle of worsening behavior between you and your spouse.
Chapter 11 – Commit To Change
This program isn’t for you if you are looking for a way to change your spouse. You are required to look within yourself to change your approach, attitude, and behavior.
The third part of Brad’s patented system gets you to stay committed to changing your behavior.
Staying committed is critical because your spouse will do or say something to upset you in the foreseeable future. This fact won’t change even with all your efforts to mend the marriage.
This chapter introduces another crucial “immediate impact action.” That action aims to rid you of an urge that is the source of so many conflicts.
If you can get that urge under control, you are very likely to see a fast, positive change in your spouse’s approach, attitude, and behavior.
I have used this “immediate impact action” in my friendships and professional life also. I can vouch that it is very effective in maintaining or achieving harmony.
Chapter 12 – Take Care Of Your Connection Account
So many people work their butt off for their education and professional lives but not their marriages. Then they curse their misfortune when their marriages become consistently problematic or end up in divorce.
This chapter is a reminder that you have to work on your marriage. When you do so, you develop a deepening connection, fondness, and trust in your spouse and vice versa.
Brad discusses behaviors called “bond builders” that as the name suggests, rebuild bonds. When you enact these behaviors, you stand a great chance of deepening connection, trust, passion, etc., with your spouse.
Note that you’re not asking your spouse to behave in a certain way. Nor are you twisting yourself like a pretzel to placate your spouse.
You are simply getting back to basics and paying attention to the things that you probably have taken for granted over the years. That kind of behavior can improve the relationship with your spouse immensely.
Brad also discusses the concept of the “connection account.”
This “account” is a subconscious ledger that you keep on your spouse. Brad shows how implementing the “bond builders” grows the asset side of this ledger.
I believe the health of the connection account is an important factor in why some couples survive marital difficulties and others don’t.
Another “immediate impact action” is mentioned towards the end of this unit. Implement this action and you can rekindle the flame with your spouse.
Chapter 13 – Say It So You Are Understood
The advice given in this chapter is spot on. The chapter shows you how to communicate more effectively in your marriage to avoid potential conflicts.
You’d be pleased to see that the advice given here goes way beyond the facile. Brad shows how to analyze your spouse’s personality and tailor your way of communicating with your spouse based on the analysis.
When I apply the analysis to my personality, I can see how the recommended communication style would lower my defenses and improve my relationships.
I doubt that most couples analyze their personalities and communication styles in the way prescribed here.
Most couples are unaware of this approach to improving relations in their marriages. This fact is unfortunate.
Another “immediate impact action” of the course is presented here.
It’s a four-part process that prevents negativity (like belligerence and sarcasm) from distorting your communication. The result is that your spouse will better understand you.
To cap off the chapter, Brad gives an example of how the advice offered here can be successfully applied to a real-life marital situation.
Section 4 – Dedicate Yourself To The Task
The introduction to this section:
1. Recaps the previous three parts of Brad Browning’s four-part patented system for Mending The Marriage.
2. Mentions the fact that chapters 14-16 will detail the last part of Brad’s four-part patented system.
3. Mentions that the following three chapters will help you pinpoint what aspect of your marriage needs the greatest attention.
You will know in the upcoming chapters: what marital issues you can let go of, where the big issues lie, and what you and your spouse need from the relationship.
Chapter 14 – Think It Through
The possibilities deriving from taking responsibility for your actions outweigh those stemming from assigning blame. This is the premise of this chapter.
Based on this premise, Brad issues another “immediate impact action” exercise for you to do.
The aim of the exercise is to get you to look dispassionately at: (a) the positives and negatives of yourself, your partner, and (b) the roles you both play in the problems of the marriage.
Once completed, you’ll once again, hopefully, be clearer on what is your part in creating situations that your partner doesn’t like. And get this – you might figure out what is your role in things that your partner does that you don’t like.
You’ll get a grasp of the big issues and the minor issues in your marriage. Consequently, you will know what issues need to be prioritized and what can be let go.
While I think this exercise can do a lot of good, there is a part of me that wonders at what point are you supposed to talk with your spouse. Using your intuition/experience to figure out your spouse’s like/dislikes is no substitute for getting the information directly from the source.
Then again, if your spouse is not a good communicator, this exercise might be the next best thing.
This exercise, like the others, is a challenge. You are “going it alone” and taking responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage. Be prepared for the weight of that responsibility.
Chapter 15 – Find Your Role
This chapter aims to change your role in the marriage to one that is more positive.
To do so, the chapter instructs you to do another “immediate impact action” exercise. This exercise is a bit of a handful.
The execution of the exercise isn’t hard. It’s comprehending how the exercise fulfills its aim that is a little difficult to grasp.
The exercise had me wondering if there isn’t a less circuitous method to achieve its aim.
That said, my takeaway from the exercise is that negatively reacting to your spouse’s actions have become a habitual response.
By reacting in this way, you have become accustomed to playing a role. You are on auto-pilot
By doing the immediate impact exercise, you will switch your role to one that doesn’t invoke a negative response in you. A role change might mean taking actions that are out of the ordinary for you.
I think that the challenge is to find a role where you are not reacting negatively on the inside (your emotion) as well as the outside (physical reaction).
I suspect you might have to change your role a few times until you find one that satisfies both conditions.
Chapter 16 – Assess The Connection Account
In this chapter, Brad Browning revisits concept of the connection account.
I see this chapter as a continuation of chapter 12 when Brad first went into some detail about your connection account.
If you recall, your connection account is a subconscious ledger that you keep on your spouse. Your task is to make that ledger as healthy as possible.
Brad Browning instructs you to do an “immediate impact action” that will have you assessing and growing your connection account.
After you have finished the exercise, Brad recommends paths that you can take with the assessment you have come up with.
One possible path involves talking with your spouse. I found that a refreshing path to the usual – “going it alone” mantra.
Another path reflects a possible stark reality about your marriage. That stark reality is discussed in chapter 18.
Chapter 17 – Make Changes
This chapter encourages you to make the changes you have been working on so far in this program.
As you work on the changes, this chapter reminds you of two things.
First – bear in mind the place you want to be in your marriage. Second – heed the advice (mentioned in previous chapters) needed to get to that place.
At the end of the chapter, men and women are encouraged to keep in check two particular negative behaviors. Each of these behaviors is more associated with one gender than the other.
Chapter 18 – A Note About Changing Your Mind
This chapter confronts you with the possibility that you might have decided to leave your marriage even after working through the program.
Deciding to divorce or separate is a big step. So Brad urges you to consider the practical and emotional consequences of your decision.
Bravo to Brad for highlighting the emotional void resulting from separation. There is more to divorce than lawyers, splitting assets, and children’s visitation rights.
Brad suggests taking an action that helps clarify how you feel about the emotional connection you have (or don’t have) with your spouse. Based on how you feel, you might lean more toward working on saving your marriage or separation.
At the very end of this chapter is the fourth installment of “Ask The Counselor.” This installment gives generic advice on a common complaint people have about their partners’ personalities.
Section 5 – Special Considerations
This section has no intro.
Chapter 19 – Managing Anger
This chapter offers sound advice on dealing with uncontrolled anger.
Brad Browning offers his ten-point “diffuse dispute system” to help you manage your anger in the healthiest way possible.
Executing any of the ten points would be a swift and noticeable sign that you are serious about improving communication in the marriage.
Chapter 20 – Sex & Intimacy
This is chapter outlines the reason for a lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage. It also outlines how triggers to sexual intimacy differ between the sexes.
Brad gives solid advice on how a couple can re-ignite sexual passion.
One piece of advice he gave involves not having sex at all. That may seem like counterintuitive advice, but the way Brad explains his reason makes sense.
At the end of this chapter is another installment of “Ask The Counselor.” After reading it, you realize that physical intimacy issues are often a symptom of a wider problem.
Chapter 21 – Affairs And Infidelity
This chapter proclaims that your marriage can survive an affair. It gives great tips on how to handle the affair itself and how to communicate with an angry “cheated on” spouse.
The information also helps you to manage your expectations regarding how quickly your marriage will recover from infidelity.
Brad discussing managing expectations is very important. Spouses who reveal their infidelities sometimes overestimate the power of that revelation to get their marriages back on track.
Brad cautions you against making that mistake and prepares you for a potentially bumpy ride ahead.
I like the fact that the “C” word – “counselor” is mentioned here. Given that infidelity is the death of so many marriages, I feel external seeking external help is very appropriate here.
Speaking of the word “counselor,” this chapter is unique because it contains two “Ask The Counselor” installments. One installment is about the “cheated on” spouse, and the other is about the strayer.
Both these installments echo the tips Brad has outlined in this chapter.
Chapter 22 – Mental Health And Addictions
This chapter is brief – and to be frank – I can understand why.
This chapter discusses the effect of mental health problems and addictions on marriages – issues Brad says are beyond his expertise.
Brad doesn’t say much here. The best advice he gives is for couples dealing with mental illness or addiction to seek professional help!
At the end of the chapter is another installment of “Ask The Counselor.”
The counselor offers advice on reducing the anguish you might be dealing with if your spouse has a health problem, mental illness, addiction, or is depressed.
Chapter 23 – Abuse
Abuse is one topic that shouldn’t be sugarcoated. Brad Browning pulls no punches here.
Domestic abuse, being the most notorious of the abuses, is not the only form of abuse that is discussed. This is a good thing, as you might discount some other form of abuse that you are facing.
Brad gives blunt and sound advice that you need to heed if your spouse is abusing you. He also lists negative behaviors towards you and feelings you might have to help you assess whether you are being abused.
Some spouses think that certain abusive behaviors are normal. So reading that list may be an eye-opener to abuse you might be facing.
Chapter 24 – Children
The central theme of this chapter is to insulate your children from your marital strife.
Brad gives you advice on how to protect your children and let them know that they are loved.
This advice is important because even with the best of intentions, you might put your children in the middle of tensions without realizing.
A sobering discussion on “staying in a marriage for the sake of the children,” is also offered.
As the chapter grew to a close, I couldn’t help but think that there is no “going it alone” here. Both you and your spouse need to be on-board with protecting the children.
The main content in this chapter doesn’t address how to deal with a man/woman who uses the children against his/her spouse. So when I read the next and (last) installment of “Ask The Counselor” at the end of the chapter, I was pleased that it spoke to this issue.
The advice was thoughtful. It might help you broach the issue with your spouse calmly rather than with guns blazing. Approaching your spouse in an irritated state will not typically resolve a situation.
Section 6 – Your Happy Future
This section represents the conclusion of the program.
Brad Browning advises you to keep working on your marriage and outlines ten important things you should do to keep the relationship joyful and romantic.
He acknowledges that you might still decide to leave your spouse, but completing the course ought to bring you other personal benefits.
At the very end is a link to Brad’s coaching program.
This program is good for anyone seeking to mend a marriage or any other type of romantic relationship.
At 271 pages, you likely won’t read this program in one sitting. There is an audio download version available for convenient listening.
The program scores its strongest points in helping you build better connection, communication, joy, and passion in your relationship.
The main ideas of this program are:
(a) Go it alone. Changing your behavior to one that is more positive without forcing your spouse to do the same will have the knock-on effect of improving your marriage.
(b) Build up brownie points in your marriage to make your relationship stronger.
(c) Mending your marriage isn’t easy. You must endure.
Admittedly there is merit to “going it alone.” But I feel there are limits to this.
At some point, your spouse also needs to show a commitment to saving the marriage. The course says little on dealing with a spouse who is unwilling to work on the marriage despite your efforts.
It’s also an open question as to how effective the advice given is in dealing with complex marital problems.
Brad’s private coaching offer might give you that extra help you need when “going it alone” cannot take you further. Coaching will also help you apply the principles of the program to your marriage.
Finally, I was disappointed overall with the “Ask The Counselor” installments in the program.
These installments were a golden opportunity for the counselor to reveal how effective the course’s principles are when applied to real-life situations.
What I read instead was basic advice on some common marital issues. The advice left me underwhelmed.
Overall, the Mend The Marriage Program is solid. It offers a good amount of valuable and actionable content.